This week has been a test for anyone who values kindness, compassion, and equanimity. Because we care so much, we can easily get caught in fear, hatred, and despair when we consider the welfare of loved ones and our society is threatened. This is when our spiritual practice is needed most.

Because we care so much, we can easily get caught in worry, fear, anger and despair when we think what is best for our loved ones and society is threatened. This is when spiritual practice is needed most. How can we use our practice to develop a balance of mind in unpredictable circumstances, have love be the source of our engagement, and deepen compassion for those who are motivated by hate without getting caught in "othering"?

As Martin Luther King Jr. Day approaches, I’d like to offer a reflection on one of my favorite MLK quotes: “I have decided to stick with love. Hate is too great a burden to bear.”

How can we stick with love in the face of injustice and cruelty? A good start is realizing that we are the ones that suffer when our mind is contracted with hatred. We are the ones that benefit when our heart is not consumed with bitterness and instead wish well towards others. The Buddha teaches that harboring hatred for another is like picking up a hot coal to throw at the object of your anger not realizing that you are the one who is getting burned. Or like drinking poison and hoping the other person will get sick.

The Winter Solstice is a time to reflect on peace and good will in many cultures and religious traditions--Christmas, Hanukkah, Kwanzaa, the Persian festival of Yalda, Soyal, celebrated by Native Americans, Dongzhi in China and others. Because it is the shortest day and longest night of the year, we gather together to create sacred rituals reminding us of the light inside us that help to get us through the darkest times.

In Buddhist cosmology, there is a teaching about six realms of existence. At the bottom is the hell realm where beings live in perpetual suffering. Next is the hungry ghost realm, followed by the animal realm, human realm, jealous god realm and, lastly, the realm of the gods. Of the six, it is said that the human realm is the optimal one to experience full awakening because it has both sorrow and joy. Those in the heaven realm, filled with light and devoid of suffering, are not motivated to go beyond the rounds of rebirth.

I write this at a time when, like many, my heart is heavy with sadness and concern. Although there are other tragic conditions happening on our planet, the current crisis in the Mideast is affecting me in both a disorienting and tender way. Seeing the atrocities committed by terrorists, I wonder how it is that humans can be so lacking in humanity. And there is great sadness over the response of overwhelming force and destruction with so many innocent people caught in the middle. I do my best to hold it all skillfully.

In this research on happiness, Martin Seligman, the father of Positive Psychology, discovered that the greatest fulfillment comes from identifying our strengths and offering them to others in spirit of contribution. Shantideva, the author of The Guide to the Bodhisattva’s Way of Life, similarly said that the miracle of awakening “lifts us above poetry into the wealth of giving to life.”