We Have a Choice: Responding to the Craziness with Balance

Is it faith or fear 

that rises to the fore, 

affirmation or negation 

at the very core 

and center of the self? 

Will it be light or dark 

within the heart today? 

The icy grip of fear 

that knows and sours 

leaving me to cower 

in the shadows?

There is another way—

I know it surely as I 

know the scent of Spring.

The choice of faith 

invites, invokes, calls forth 

from all creation 

both the blessing 

and the lesson 

of the day.

Whether faith or fear, 

the choice is mine alone.

Each moment, choosing, 

stepping through the door, 

trusting that the path 

beyond will surely

lead me home.

— “The Choice” by Danna Faulds

In the 70s, I was part of a small invitation-only class led by Ram Dass, a key figure in my spiritual journey. There were strict guidelines regarding diet, meditation and celibacy that each of us was expected to maintain as part of our “sadhana” or spiritual practice. I remember clearly one student complaining that some were diligently adhering to the guidelines while others were not. Ram Dass replied with a teaching that has stayed in my mind all these years. 

As far as sticking to the rules, he said there were four kinds of students in the class. One group was strictly, but righteously, following the guidelines, very proud of being A+ students. Another was adhering to the guidelines because they were inspired to give their best effort. A third was comprised of students who were less rigid, but sincere, not always following the rules but approaching the structure in a way that worked for them. The fourth group was not fully complying and feeling very guilty about it. 

In his mind, the ones who were proud and the ones that were feeling guilty were in the same place on their spiritual journey. And the ones who were sincerely following the regimen and those who were not gold star students, but were sincerely doing the best they could, were also in the same place in their spiritual journey. It was a lesson for me that the intention behind our actions is more important than the actions themselves.

These days, people I greatly respect have quite varied responses to the disorientation that so many feel about what is happening to democracy in the United States. Some are choosing to take a break from the news, trying to bring some normalcy to their lives because it’s just too overwhelming for them to take it all in. Some are choosing to look the other way so they can just enjoy their lives and not be brought down. A third group is avidly and incredulously following the news, as they feed their obsessive addiction and outrage. And still others are following the waterfall of events out of a need to stay informed, processing it all to eventually figure out how they will skillfully respond to the craziness.

Everyone will respond in a way that works for them. To me, however, those who are numbing out and those who are doom scrolling are both caught in a mindset of fear or delusion. Likewise, the ones who are trying to judiciously minimize their news intake and those who are choosing to stay informed are similar to each other, honoring their windows of tolerance by doing what they need to stay connected while trying to maintain their balance.

There is a basic principle in Buddhist philosophy: Whatever is happening externally, the key to our well-being is our internal relationship to what is happening. A wise relationship means not getting caught in fear or confusion but rather processing whatever internal swirl of emotions we have so that, in time, we can offer an “appropriate response.“ This requires having enough space in the mind and heart so that clarity and love can be the source of our actions. For many, that spaciousness is one of the main gifts of meditation. As Ram Dass would say, we quiet the mind so we can open the heart.

We are at a choice point at this moment in time. Many who value kindness, prioritize compassion over cruelty, who think in terms of we instead of me, sense we are at a critical juncture that will have a massive impact on the future of humanity, as well as on non-human beings. The Earth will survive and Nature will continue to thrive long beyond the human experiment. But how we navigate the current situation, specifically whether fear or love will ultimately prevail, will likely affect the quality of life on this planet for years to come. 

When we are caught in despair, we feel helpless and hopeless. Nowhere to turn. No one to save us. However, it seems crucial to remember we are not alone in our dysregulation. I do believe there are far more people who care about others and of future generations than those who just care about themselves. 

Historian Howard Zinn writes: “Human history is a history not only of cruelty, but also of compassion, sacrifice, courage, kindness. What we choose to emphasize in this complex history will determine our lives. If we see only the worst, it destroys our capacity to do something. If we remember those times and places—and there are so many—where people have behaved magnificently, this gives us energy to act, and at least the possibility of sending this spinning top of a world in a different direction.”

The stated strategy of the current administration is "shock and awe” with the expressed purpose to disorient, confuse, and overwhelm. Adam Russell Taylor, a Christian social justice advocate, points out “Provoking a sense of disorientation, paralysis, numbness, fear, grief, or despair is the goal. We know that authoritarian movements of the past and present thrive on people feeling despair. Trump hopes to exploit a demoralized and overwhelmed opposition to quickly accomplish as much of his agenda as he can get away with.”  

So, what is an “appropriate response”? At this point the onslaught of radical changes to our democracy is so great that most people are not yet clear how to effectively respond. That will come in time. But even before any action is taken, an important first step is to figure out how to find the balance between being informed about what is happening while skillfully monitoring how much we are able to take in without going into overwhelm.

There is a price to pay when we emotionally turn our backs on those most affected by the cruelty of people in power. And there is also a consequence in being disoriented and confused. Letting our hearts be touched just enough to penetrate our protective armor allows us to stay connected to the human family. Below the armor is what Buddhist teacher Pema Chödrön calls “the soft spot” where the heart is alive and tender, where we can access compassion, wisdom and courage.

Each of us needs to find our own “window of tolerance” with regard to the barrage of craziness we’re seeing every day. It is vital to stay connected and care about the world beyond our own small circle. At the same time, we need to find ways to create the spaciousness needed for our own appropriate response—nourishing ourselves, connecting with people who bring out the best in us, being inspired by all that is good in life.

Of course, in world of impermanence, what we need in any one moment will be subject to change. We may realize we need a break from it all. Then later on, we might calm ourselves down enough to feel ready to be more fully informed about what is going on. In Buddhist philosophy, this is spoken of as finding the balance between compassion with equanimity. Our natural caring impulse to respond is most effective when it is grounded in a centered, spacious perspective. Monitoring our capacities and needs is an ongoing practice.

Adam Russell Taylor shares his formula: “Resisting the urge to panic is hard.  But here’s the thing: We don’t have to respond in the way Trump and his allies hope. In the days ahead, I’m committed to staying informed — but doing so in moderation. I fully recognize the temptation to try to follow every event, every notification of “BREAKING NEWS” that comes across our screens. It’s important to remember that there’s an entire “attention economy” out there competing for our eyeballs, our clicks, and yes, our outrage.”

With regard to how we process all that is happening these days, it seems that getting clear on our intention, that is getting in touch with why we are acting as we do, is a central factor in how much our hearts are open or closed. Why am I choosing to take a break from the news? Is it to escape from it all or take a much-needed news vacation? Why am I choosing to stay informed? Is it because I can’t resist compulsively watching a horror show and stoking my rage or because I feel it’s important to be connected to what’s going on so, when the time is right, I can act with clarity and fierce compassion.

As we navigate this current reality, if we can balance our need to be informed with being centered, our response will be much more effective. That informed, centered response will also be a gift to others, perhaps helping them calm down enough to access their own wisdom and courage.

Positive change comes when enough people overcome their sense of impotence and collectively oppose negative forces. Nelson Mandela spoke of “the multiplication of courage.” From his jail cell he wrote: “We supported each other and gained strength from each other. Whatever we knew, whatever we learned, we shared, and by sharing, we multiplied whatever courage we had individually.”

Multiplication of courage based in clarity and compassion action is a formidable power. It’s up to each of us to choose a way that supports and sustains us. What choices will you make to bring out the best in you for the sake of all of us?